I’m a sucker for good lighting, and it’s been sparse this winter. I leave for work and it’s dark, and it’s only very recently that I’ve been coming back from work with some sunlight left in the day. The warmth and beauty of the light really took me by surprise on my train ride this weekend. I was trying to make most of the time on the train to unplug a little and do some reading (the magazine in my picture is Bella Grace, which I highly recommend because it is aaaamazing).
I haven’t been noticing the beauty around me as much lately to my chagrin. Yet, it’s in those soft quiet moments of beauty that I feel my soul lift. This weekend was eventful by the standards of many as I found my wedding dress, but that’s not where I found the most beauty this weekend. It was in those soft, quiet moments; the light streaming in my window on my train journey, my dad leading my family to pray before supper, the priest joking with the parish after Mass and inviting us to join him on a bike ride in the afternoon, my parent’s cat happy purring, strolling arm in arm with my fiancé through a cold quiet courtyard in the middle of the city.
We are free to see beauty around us, or to focus on what is broken and dark. May you choose beauty and bring light into the darkness of your own heart, and of those around you.
So I’ve not been hyper active around here and wasn’t too sure how to get back into blogging. I’ve decided to simply give you all a little update on what’s been going on in my life:
My internet and physical dwelling places are starting to feel a little more like home. Books are sprawled a little bit everywhere and I just love that my apartment is finally feeling lived in. Also, the amazing Erica Tighe from Be a Heart has created a lovely logo for the blog. It’s just what I wanted for this space. Something pretty, but simple, and not frilly. I hope you all like the new logo and it makes you feel more welcomed than my previous dreadful ugly prototype font.
I’M ENGAGED. I’m really not good at lead ins. My English professor in high school used to tell me all the time, but GUYS, I’M SUPER ENGAGED. My heart is so full of joy. I’m not going to go into all of the details (that might be a later post, but I’m not sure how much I’m comfortable sharing/whether people want to read about it).
That’s all I’ve got. I’m hoping to make more time for writing in my schedule. Thanks for sticking around those of you who read me. It’s really humbling to see sweet emails in my inbox from readers. You guys really are the best, just so you know. I don’t have a perfect blogging schedule, but I’ve got the most perfect internet friends who are patient and keep showing up. Thank you.
Sunday is a sacred day of the week for me. I go to Mass. I’m intentional about praying and my relationship with God. It’s also the time where I’m intentional with my romantic relationship.
Sundays I plan on fighting.
I know, “What, she PLANS on fighting?”.
Hear me out. Has your significant other ever done something to irrate or hurt you, but it was either around other people, or at the moment you didn’t know it hurt you (shout out to introverts who sometimes take longer to process…)? Have you ever harbored a grudge because you can’t tell them you’re hurt or upset and they just need to know RIGHT now and you end up blowing up in a really ungraceful way?
Yeah, I’ve been there… More than once.
Which is why I plan to fight. My Sunday ritual involves going to Mass with my boyfriend, then it usually is followed by having him spoil me and make me brunch. Afterwards we spend some intentional quality time, whether it be watching a Fr. Brown episode on Netflix and getting some cuddles in, listening to a good podcast, doing some window shopping, going out for tea/coffee, reading together, whatever it may be, we try and really enjoy each other’s company and relax.
At this point, when we’re both relaxed, is when we look at the week ahead, make our plans for our dates/when we’ll see each other, and then we open up the floor for discussing our hurts (a.k.a. fighting). By Sunday we’ve had time to think throughout the week about anything we may feel needs to be addressed, or perhaps can be let go. The beautiful thing is we’ve usually spent a few hours being filled with grace and being reminded of why we love one another before we jump into what can be a tough conversation.
Some weeks there are no fights, and we laugh, and count ourselves blessed to not have any hurts with which we need to confront the other. Other weeks, we have those difficult conversations, but by being so intentional about how we approach these conversations, we are far more loving and sensitive in how we go about it.
Have you ever planned to fight with your significant other? How do you go about bringing up your hurts? Let me know in the comments! I’m always looking to improve my communication game. It’s not my strength. I tend to bottle things up, and then forget about them until I later unexpectedly erupt like a crazy volcano (not fun for either party involved). Planning to fight keeps me accountable. It forces me to be vulnerable, and ultimately, that makes me far more loving. Healthy relationships require vulnerabiltiy.
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” (C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves)
P.S. This is what is working in my relationship in my current state of life. It may not be what works for you, but you do you, boo. I would add that some fights do need to happen right away, because you risk being distant and unloving if you don’t resolve the issue.
I’ve written about my morning routinebefore, but in 2016, I’m spicing it up just a little bit. For one, right after my meditation, I do 5 minutes of German. It doesn’t seem like much, but it will add up. I did a student exchange to Germany when I was in high school, but never really learned much of the language. I want to make up for my silly 15 year old self who was comfortable with everyone responding to her in English or French and didn’t make real efforts to assimilate the language of the country in which she lived.
The other thing I’m doing a little differently in regards to my morning routine is setting my daily goals in my bullet journal while I have breakfast. I didn’t have a set time to do this in the past so I would try and cram it in somewhere, but more often than not, it would only happen in a rushed way once I got to the office, and I just didn’t like having been up for 2-3 hours already by the time I get to the office, and not having any clear written down goals for my day. I think my days are going to greatly benefit from this order and 5 minutes it takes me to set out my goals.
Do you have any morning routine edits you are hoping to implement for 2016? Let me know! If you’re at a loss of what your morning routine should be, feel free to be inspired by mine 🙂