It’s infertility awareness week. It’s something I don’t talk about much, but it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be discussed. I wrote about my struggles with subfertility last year, and the response I got was overwhelming. There are so many hearts that are breaking over this heavy cross – mine included.
A cloud of darkness has overshadowed me since I was diagnosed with PCOS and my faith has been struggling. Yet I can’t help but see that in the midst of all of this pain, all of this suffering, there is good that has emerged from it. There’s no denying that my faith is being stretched and I am being called to mature in my relationship with God. This is not a season of consolations. God is asking me to seek Him despite the pain, despite unanswered prayers, and I am. I seek Him, because I know that He loves me.
He looks at my heart, as He pours His out, hanging on the cross. The cross is the reminder that He bore the ultimate suffering so that I would never have to buy the lie that I am alone. Whatever pain, whatever struggle you are facing, you are not alone. You are loved by a God who has made you and known you from the womb. He keeps a record of every tear you cry. There is no suffering in which Jesus does not accompany you. The Lord has promised to deliver us from our distress.
I reflect on the sweetness of my honeymoon spent in the Rocky Mountains, and all of the beauty of God’s wilderness I saw during that week. That beauty remains in the depth of my heart.
For the mountains may go away and the hills may totter, but my faithful love will never leave you, my covenant of peace will never totter, says Yahweh who takes pity on you. Isaiah 56:10
I was in need of this verse today, of the truth of His deep, unmoving love. My prayer is that if you are feeling despair, you would know you are not alone.
You are loved.