I struggle to show others my heart. There is a myriad of little Babushkas inside of me, all neatly hidden, but rattling if I am shaken. The exterior one is the flawless veneer of my soul, but I know that You, o Lord, are not fooled.
Could I love myself in my wholeness? You command it. I struggle to be obedient. I constantly feel drowned with the lie that my brokeness is beyond Your grace. Grant me faith God, for deep within me, You are present. Let me shed my outer layers and dwell in the interior castle of my soul.
The fact that it is made in God’s image teaches us how great are its dignity and loveliness.
-St Theresa of Avila, Interior Castle, Chapter 1
I hide from Your love when I do not pray. I cheat myself of Your grace. Holy Spirit, renew in me a fervor for communion. May I always unite my heart to the most sacred heart of Jesus. Let me believe in the dignity and loveliness of my soul.
I want to pray fervently and devoutly, as all the angels and the saints, but You humble me and I know how imperfect my love for You is. I turn my eyes to you and whisper “Lord, have mercy.”
Relationships take time and I am neglectful of ours. I want to open up. Take my imperfect desire sweet Father and guide me. Send others who will sharpen me down my path. Send me daughters of the King who will not be fooled by my exterior demeanor, but will fight to see my vulnerable heart and teach me to love it, and guide it to rest in You.